For the witchy, bitchy, and a smidge kitschy.

A Hyper-Specific, Super-Sporadic, Delightfully Chaotic Gift Guide

She’s light as a feather stiff as a board. Happily coupled but keeps tabs on (and a lock of hair from) her high school crush. Gothic Horror is her literary genre of choice; re-reads Mysteries of Udolpho by Ann Radcliffe annually. More Morticia, less Sabrina. More “The Witches of Eastwick” less “Hocus Pocus”. More Stonehenge less Salem. Worships at the altar of Stevie Nicks. Aries sun. Taurus moon.

Déhanche Undone Belt $490

Is it a corset? Is it a belt? Whatever it is, it’s achingly feminine and infinitely versatile and imagine wearing it with just a lacy bra, trousers, and come-hither heels…BDE to the max.

Ruslan Baginskiy Fedora, $420

If—and only if—you are a serious hat person, this fedora from Ukrainian designer Ruslan Baginskiy is for you. Everyone else keep scrolling. This is not a silhouette for the casual wearer but rather for a lifelong millinophile who can appreciate the craftsmanship and pomp.

Astier de Villatte Serena Bird Box, $485

A bird in hand porcelain jewelry box is worth two in the bush.

Andrea Maack Coven Eau de Parfum, $170

The guy at the new perfume shop on Larchmont explained that Andrea Maack is this witchy Icelandic woman with great hair and even better taste. I was sold before I even took a whiff. Coven is her fittingly spooky new fragrance that smells like what I imagine rolling around in just-rained-on forrest floor feels like.

Edie Parker Burn Clutch, $295

A chic little going-out bag with a lighter built in because everyone’s a smoker after midnight.

Starling Bespoke Gems, Prices Vary

Every month Starling designer Chelsey Bartrum unloads a handful of loose gemstones—emeralds, opals, saphires, and tourmalines in every shape and color under the sun for you to choose your own adventure: Pick a gem, a setting, and a band, then sit tight until the ring of your dreams shows up at your door.

Chanel Rouge Noir Nail Polish, $32

Legend has it that this bestselling shade first came to be at the kitchen table of a Chanel makeup artist the night before a runway show back in the ‘90s. If there’s one color I’d be content wearing for eternity, this is it.

Sandy Liang Norfolk Vest, $650

Everything Sandy Liang touches turns to quirky, girly gold. This taffeta puffer vest is noooooo different. Please buy it and let me borrow.

Heretic Weeping Bust Candle, $350

So pretty I can cry.

Lisa Says Gah x Loom Long Sleeve Tee, $78

A partnership for every body. Lisa Says Gah is an LA brand that makes very cool clothes for very cool East Sidery types of all shapes and sizes. Loom, and its founder Erica Chidi (also cool) aims to corral health information for women, from other women, into an easily searchable database. If you’ve yet to do so, download the Loom app here.

MACK Sofia Coppola Archive, $65

You don’t have to love Sofia Coppola’s work to appreciate a BTS peek into her world via giant pink tome. With that said, I effing love Sofia Coppola—The Virgin Suicides, The Beguiled, Marie Antoinette, etc. Still torn on Lost in Translation, am I missing something there?

Cuyana System Tote, $498

In the age of tiny bags, a big ol tote is a revalation. This one contains all the flotsam and jetsam we collect on our daily travels within a sleek, structured silhouette. And if you roll your panties and don’t bring a change of shoes, I bet it would make for a solid overnighter, too.

Kukhta Atelier Short Gloves, $55

Like seamed thigh-highs for your arms, it’s the impracticality for me. I’d put them on just so I can slowly, seductively peel them off. By myself. In the mirror.

Miu Miu Leather Mary Janes $1,120

Remember how Carrie got drunk on martinis at Vogue and lost her shit over the Manolo Blahnik Mary Janes in the famous accessories closet and, if memory serves, considered shtupping her older gentleman mentor to keep them? That’s how I feel about the Miu Miu Mary Janes. 100% would shtup to keep.