For the 39th birthday of a rapidly aging millennial who has everything (that matters) but wants more more more.
A Hyper-Specific, Super-Sporadic, Delightfully Chaotic Gift Guide
Attaches meaning to inanimate objects. Aesthetic dessert connoisseur. Collector of pretty impracticals. Lowkey label whore. Unironically obsessed with Love is Blind. Judges books by their covers. Gets off on ‘90s nostalgia. Style vibes span teenage-wannabe to octogenarian-chic. Double Aries. Leo sun.
Cou Cou Intimates Pointelle Baby Tee, $55
The baby tee, all grown up. Don’t sleep on the matching bottoms.
Hai x Reqins Circee Satin Ballet Flats, $150
This little girl dreamed of becoming a ballerina for the footwear. Past versions of these have sold out fast.
Prada Monolith Knit Booties, $1,520
There was one winter (2000? 2001?) when every well-to-do senior citizen lady on the Upper East Side wore wild-looking platform sock booties. Where did they come from? Where did they go? I don’t have the answers. What I do know is that these sex bombs are what the UES lady’s favorite grandchild is wearing in 2023.
Prada Caffè at Harrods in London
The cappuccino wears Prada.
Daddy Bones Ball Chain Necklace, $178
A step up from the one she stole from her poser boyfriend back in high school.
Bevza High-Waisted Bodysuit, $325
From Ukraine, with love.
Caswell + Massey Scented Soap, $16
Its stout, perfumed little body sits in its dainty little dish and giggles in the face of the clean beauty movement.
The perception of youth + migraine relief in one fell swoop.
Barbour x FARM Rio Cami Quilted Coat, $740
Nothing can possibly make a classic Barbour better. Except maybe for quilting.
Freewright Smart Typewriter, $649
Because she gets easily distracted but fancies herself a creative type.
Folio Society Lord of the Flies, by William Golding, $65
An illustrated, custom-cover version of an angsty classic that’ll look hella impressive on a bookshelf.
Hades Shop Alphabet Sweater, $229
Prim, proper, and somehow also kind of punk?















obsessed. give me more!!!
I will definitely be stopping by the Prada cafe when I'm in London over the summer. Can't wait for the next gift guide.